so, i'm working with sherrita on dealing with children and their aggressive behavior. we've been talking about 1-2-3 magic, triggers, de-escalation, basically all the things good counselors, case workers, etc. should be talking about, but somewhere in the back of my mind I keep thinking about adults and how we really aren't that different from kids. we just aren't as open with our aggression. we become passive observers waiting for the perfect moment to respond with a sardonic comment that cuts to the core but which we can pass off as "just kidding." The recipient responds with a passive shrug of the shoulders while they quietly plot in their minds a simple retaliation. a retaliation they can pass off with a calm, deliberate voice to mask the hurtful intention in the message. a retaliation we deliver over a meal with friends so there is a buffer to keep things from getting too open, too confrontive. we create this vicious cycle all because we are ashamed of our vulnerability, our emotions. we are afraid to be honest in our relationships, so we create this wall against intimacy. so, how do we break the wall down? can we? what if the other party isn't willing? do we let it go and become an accomplice in the passive-aggressive game or do we confront it knowing that in the end we may just have to count our losses?